


A Kiddie-verse Christmas!

by SoloShikigami



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Elementary School, Canon Jewish Character, Christmas, Fluff, Gen, Hannukah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-09 17:53:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6917299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoloShikigami/pseuds/SoloShikigami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blood Gulch Elementary is putting on a Christmas play! There's only one small problem... Not everyone gets a visit from Santa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Kiddie-verse Christmas!

**Author's Note:**

> Another fic transported from LJ. Come visit me on [Tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/soloshikigami)
> 
> *It was pointed out to me that Church is Jewish as well. Whoops. When I wrote this, I didn't know/forgot about it, so... I wrote this back in 2009, forgive me T_T

“This is so stupid,” Church muttered, tearing the green elf hat from his head.

“Come on, Church, it can't be that bad,” Tex said, even though she was scowling at the gold garland she wore around her neck and head.

“Yeah, you could be playing Santa,” Grif said, tugging uncomfortably at the red jacket. “Why can't costumes be comfortable? And why am I playing Santa?”

Simmons rolled his eyes as he reached over to poke at Grif's stomach. “That's why, dummy.”

Most of the kids giggled, Grif glared at Simmons, who only grinned back. But the giggles were interrupted by and evil laugh and one of the wooden reindeer was knocked over.

“Evil wins! Muahahahaaa!”

The kids rolled their eyes, mostly, but some cowered when heavy footsteps approached.

“Dufresne!” barked Mr. Johnson, the gym teacher. “What were you thinking?”

The boy stood nervously near the fallen reindeer.

“It wasn't me, sir, it was O'Malley!” he whined.

“Shut up, Doc, no one wants to hear about your “evil” imaginary friend,” Sarge grumbled.

“He's not imaginary!” Doc said insistently, though the insistence was a little lost in Doc's pout.

“Settle down you two, I'll be taking care of this,” Mr. Johnson said, taking a look around. “I'm missing kindergartners, you all stay here.”

Then the kids were left on their own once more.

Tucker and Church glanced at each other, then at Grif and Simmons. They knew that Caboose was capable of causing enough trouble for the entire school, and more if Donut was with him.

“They're sitting on the edge of the stage,” Doc said quietly, then his face suddenly twisted into an evil grin. “Pinky dinky is crying like a widdle baby.”

“Hey, if you made Donut cry-” Grif started.

“No! Of course not!” Doc said, waving his hands in frantic defense. “Donut and I are in the same boat, actually.”

No one seemed to be listening anymore since they moved from backstage to the front. Sure enough, sitting on the edge of the stage dressed as tin solider, were Donut and Caboose. Donut was hunched over and Caboose was rubbing his back.

“What's wrong with him?” Tucker asked.

“Why are you asking us?” Simmons asked.

“He's on your team.”

“Yeah, well, his best friend is on your team.”

“Why don't you just ask him?” Doc muttered, pushing his way out of the thick, velvet curtains and sitting on Donut's other side.

The four shrugged and hopped off of the stage to stand in front of them.

“Hey, Donut, what's wrong?” Simmons asked.

Donut looked up at them forlornly. “I don't get any of this.”

“Get what?” Tucker asked.

“Christmas. I light a menorah, play with dreidels, none of that is in our Christmas play,” Donut explained.

The four frowned slightly.

“He is sad because Santa Clause does not visit his house,” Caboose said.

“Huh? Why not?” Church asked.

“Donut and I are Jewish,” Doc explained. “There's lots of other kids who are Jewish, too.”

“Oh yeah? Like who?” Grif asked.

“Umm,” Doc looked up as he searched his memory. “David Washington, the Dakota twins, I think that weird kid Delta is.”

“Oh, so you mean the crazy group, right?” Church said.

Doc glared. “Don't be mean, Santa's watching.”

“No, he isn't, he's looking for Oreo's,” Tucker said.

“No, I'm not,” Grif scowled.

“Not him,” Doc snapped.

Donut sighed and leaned against Caboose. “I dunno how to be a tin soldier, there aren't any tin soldiers in Hanukkah.”

Doc looked thoughtful.

“Stop looking thoughtful, that's not what this is all about,” O'Malley growled.

“Obviously you don't know anything about the holidays, so let me handle this.”

Doc stood and slipped through the curtains, ran through the backstage area, then peeked his head out into the hallway to find the retreating back of his teacher.

“Mr. Johnson! I have an idea!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was the night of the pageant. The music room behind the stage was filled with children; tin soldiers, baby dolls, teddy bears, angels, and elves made the majority of the cast.

Sarge, dressed as a red tin solider, was looking at Butch Flowers with a raised eyebrow and a look of distrust.

“What're you think you're wearin', Flowers?” Sarge asked.

Flowers imply smiled as he lightly brushed imaginary lint off the blue uniform. “Mr. Johnson gave me this costume, and I guess that means I'm the leader.”

“I ain't bein' lead by no dirty blue! How does that costume make you a leader? It makes ya look ridiculous!”

“Well, I think your costume looks ridiculous. Mine is nicer, has more buttons, there's a medal, and I have a bigger hat. That makes me the leader.”

“Diabolical,” Sarge muttered, turning away from Flowers and his insufferable grin.

“What's the matter, Simmons? You look nervous. Getting a little stage fright, are we?” Grif teased.

“No,” Simmons answered quickly. “It's just, I don't see Donut anywhere. Or Doc.”

Grif looked around with a frown. Simmons had a point. It was disconcerting enough to have Donut missing, but Doc, too? What was going on?

“Okay, everyone, get in place!” Mr. Johnson said in a booming voice.

“But Mr. Johnson, Donut is missing! And Doc!” Simmons said.

“Don't worry, they're doing what they're supposed to be doing. Your job is to be Santa's helper.”

Grif grinned at Simmons. “Come on, helper.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

The pageant went well. The first act was the dancing of the tin soldiers and baby dolls, followed by a more dramatic dance by the ones dressed as angels. Tex nearly ran off the stage to kill Church who kept whispering that she should have horns instead of wings. At the end of her number, she stormed past Church, but not without a moment's pause to sock him in the shoulder.

Then Grif, as Santa, came out with the elves to sing a rendition of “Santa Clause is Coming to Town.” He got a little carried away with his part and ended their number with a flourishing, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

Once they had been ushered off of the stage, the curtains closed, and when the applause died down, Mr. Johnson took the stage.

“We have an addition to our pageant this year. It has come to our attention that it is not only Christmas that is celebrated during this time of year, and I turn the microphone over to some of our students to tell you about them.”

Donut walked timidly out across the stage. He was wearing dark blue slacks, a white button down shirt, he has a white yarmulke placed carefully on his head and he wore a white and navy blue shawl over his shoulders. He took the microphone from Mr. Johnson, and for as nervous as he was, he spoke into it quite clearly.

“Hanukkah is the Jewish Festival of Lights,” Donut said. “It's when we celebrate the miracle of when one night's worth of oil turned to eight.”

The Dakota twins came on stage, carrying a large cardboard menorah between them. They stood just behind it as Donut continued to speak.

“The center candle is used to light the others,” Donut continued. One of the twins placed another piece of cardboard that looked like a flame where the center candle was supposed to be. “On the first night of Hanukkah, one candle is lit, then two on the second, and so on.”

The twins scrambled to put up the “lights” and bickered a little as they did so.

“We also play with dreidels, a spinning top, and depending how the dreidel lands, you win money or candy, or you give it away.”

Donut put the microphone down. Doc came up onto the stage dressed as a dreidel along with some of the other kids to sing the dreidel song.

The applause was incredible, Donut beamed at Doc, happy that they were able to pull it all off. Once they were all backstage, Caboose hugged Donut hard.

“You did it, Admiral Muffin-cake!” Caboose exclaimed.

Donut could only giggle.

“That was pretty cool, little dude,” Tucker said, lightly bumping his fist on Donut's shoulder.

Donut blushed and nodded his thanks.

“Not bad, Doc,” Church said to the boy. “Glad your little imaginary friend didn't get in the way.”

Doc laughed it off and waved at Church as he left.

“You owe me big time,” O'Malley growled.

“Cut it out, O'Malley, it is the holiday after all.”

“Hey, Church!” Tex's voice boomed through the room.

“What? Hey!”

Church found himself being shoved to one side of the room.

“Well, hello there, Tucker,” a voice said behind the black boy.

“What do you want, Reggie?” Tucker scowled. “Hey! What are you doing?”

Tucker soon found himself being shoved and pulled across the room, he noticed that Carolina, York, and David were helping. He didn't like where this was going, and liked it even less when he was shoved next to Church.

“What do you want, Allison?” Church grumbled, knowing the girl hated being called by her first name.

But Tex just smirked and pointed up. Both Church and Tucker looked up to find greenery hanging above them.

“No way,” Church said, making to move but got shoved back by Reggie.

“You know the rules, old bean.”

Tucker scowled at Tex. “Why did you shove me into this? Church is your boyfriend.”

“Ex-boyfriend!” Church cried.

“This is for being mean to me. Go on, or I'll beat the both of you up,” Tex said.

Tucker glanced around. No one seemed to notice, and it was only the Freelancer Club that was staring. He whispered this fact to Church.

“Your point, Tucker?”

“Just do it while no one's watching,” Tucker muttered.

Church's face lit up more red than Sarge's t-shirts.

“I'll tell South it was you who stole her pudding cup, Church,” Tex threatened.

Church growled and leaned forward quickly to give Tucker a peck on the lips, then turned and stomped away, leaving the Freelancer Club laughing and Tucker thankful his dark skin hid his heated face.

David chuckled and nudged Tucker with his elbow. “Merry Christmas, Tucker.”

“Shut up, David.”


End file.
